A great line from one of my favorite movies – The Natural. When Roy Hobbs admits that he has to quit baseball, he says, “Some mistakes I guess we never stop paying for.”

So true. I’ve felt that most especially in the last few hours. This undoubtedly cathartic account will probably be excruciating to read, but I write none the less.

In October, I lost another job, a job that I was performing well but for which my employer could no longer afford to pay me. These things happen, right? It is a blessing in disguise as I was working an unsustainable number of hours and was probably due for a crash-and-burn of epic proportions.

Then just a few short days later, while ordering a Grande Skinny Vanilla Latte at my neighborhood Starbucks, I decided to apply for a job, as a barista. I probably have never thought about any decision less.

I began training, and for 2 weeks learned the (rudimentary) ropes: warming breakfast sandwiches, arranging the front display case – you know the one – the one that’s filled with all those delectable treats. Tasting various brews. Taking customer orders (hard!) Tendering customer’s orders (fun, not as hard!) Tip-toeing into Barista World. Carefully. Wow – was that overwhelming.

Every time I turned around I was making a mistake. It was one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had, and not one I was well-suited for.

So, after 2 weeks of training, I quit. Gave one week’s notice, and I was done. It was then I decided that maybe I should apply for unemployment.

That lapse of 5 weeks or so between when I got laid off at the end of October and when I applied for unemployment was the mistake I’ll probably never stop paying for.

I was interviewed over the phone by an IDES (Illinois Department of Employment Services) team member who basically wanted to know why I quit Starbucks. I told her that the job was completely unsuited to who I was.

That apparently wasn’t a good enough reason, because I just found out about 3 hours ago that my unemployment claim has been denied.

This is the second time in 2 years or so that I’ve had  an unemployment claim denied. The first time was the State of Michigan telling me I hadn’t worked long enough to claim unemployment. Wait, huh? So, you’re punishing me because I was unemployed before being employed? Makes no sense.

Then, this time I was denied because I quit a job totally unsuited to me and applied for unemployment insurance 5 weeks too late.

I am sad, depressed, angry, fed up and feeling entirely helpless right now.

But, on the upside, I do feel a sense of catharsis in this re-telling.

D.C. Confidential - Photos by Janet Kincaid

It’s a beautiful summer evening in Chicago. We don’t get many like this. It’s about 80 degrees, sunny & clear, not too humid & as the sun sets, the long shadows bring out the best in our suburban landscape.

We haven’t had rain in a while (more than a week?) so I took time to water the potted flowers. They need it! The vegetable garden is busy producing its mid-summer bounty: beans, peppers of many varieties (banana, jalapeno, bell), snow peas. Best Husband has used these to produce many a stir-fry, and even a marinade (with banana & bell peppers, minced) that was used to grill up a scrumptious salmon meal a few nights back.

#3 child planted the garden & faithfully waters it. Harvesting is a joint effort shared by Best Husband & #3 child.

The tomatoes aren’t yet ready…they’ve blossomed, but that’s about it. It’ll still be a month or so before they’re ready  to harvest. But, when they’re ready…oh, man! Is there anything better than a newly picked Big Boy? Not much!

As the sun wanes off to the west, I’m thankful for so many things. A healthy and happy family, filled with wonderful adult children. Comforts of home. Air-conditioning (a must this past couple of weeks.) Our church. Our country. Our extended family. Our pets.

It has been a great summer. Thank you, God, for your daily blessings. You love us & we love you.

Happy summer to you, Dear Void!

Wait, huh? I mean I know the world loves football, but – the UFL?? What the heck is that?

Turns out the UFL is a new (1 year old) football league with 5 teams. Greeny’s point, once he got to it, was that Michael Vick would have seen a lot more interest from NFL teams in 2010 had he spent one year in the UFL getting back in shape & proving what he could do.  And, this was apparently topical because Daunte Culpepper recently signed with a UFL team, hoping to increase his value in 2011.

Now, I know I’m going to sound like a whiner (sue me!) but, aren’t there more important things to talk about? Like, for instance, the Chicago Blackhawks! C’mon!

I’ve heard a ton about the East Coast bias (created by ESPN, supposedly,) but now we’ve got a football bias, too? Next we’ll have a East Coast Football bias & then points west of Pittsburgh will fall into sports oblivion.

Unless the Chicago Bears start winning.

It’s time to acknowledge that I’m done. Done being a Cubs fan. For this year, anyway. This means it’s going to be a long, hot summer.

Reasons for this latest summer of my discontent:

1. Zambrano in the bullpen – what??

2. Lou’s checked out & is so beyond desperate he’s virtually begging to be fired

3. Aramis Ramirez – smells so bad his signature fragrance is thinking of changing its name to “Alfonso”

4. Stats, we got stats:

• Team Batting Average: .272 5th in MLB
• 3 of top 10 NL Leaders in Batting Average: Chicago Cubs (Marlon Byrd, Ryan Theriot, Alfonso Soriano)
• Starting Pitchers Avg ERA: 3.978

All this team goodness, and the Cubs record is 15-21. And, they just completed the “easy” part of their schedule. The Cubs now stand 6 games behind the Cardinals with the Brewers, Pirates & Reds all ahead of them.

I’m relieved in a way that I no longer have to worry about this unfortunate 2010 version of the Cubs. I’m throwing my 110% devotion behind a team which plays well together, and plays to win: The Chicago Blackhawks. Here’s hoping my fan misfortunes don’t translate to Hawks losses.

Fingers crossed.

Listen to what I mean, not what I say!

After a 4-day weekend, I’m anxious to see Little Angel and her mother. A 9-month-old can change so much in 4 days!

LA doesn’t disappoint. She’s waving bye-bye. She’s standing at her play station/table. And, she’s saying “Oh” (only it’s more the French Eau…lots of vowel sounds!) She’s obviously bi-lingual even though she’s barely uni-lingual. She also loves to *sigh* – does she get this from me, I wonder, because I sigh A LOT!!! And, she does the fake cough thing (and when I mimic her, she dies laughing!) Finally, she’s starting to walk around furniture. And crawl on all fours with consistency.

But, the most fun we have is talking.

• “uh-puh”  -airplane, which she says often because the house is right under a major O’Hare take-off route
• “fff” – off (fans, lights)
• “uh” – on (see above)
• “buh” – currently ball, bye, book… lots of baby items begin with B!
• “mama” – classic
• “puh” – puppy

Nannying is the most fun I’ve ever had at a job, and I actually get paid to be here! I love being a part of Little Angel’s life & love that we connect every week. It’s nourishing for me (and hopefully for her, too!)

A dear, sweet girl who is starting to make her way into the real world, even if it is on all-fours!

As Little Angel becomes very proficient at naps (a nap savant!) I often will follow suit and catch a few moments of shut-eye myself. The jury is still out (who’s on this jury, anyway and when will they ever be back?) on whether naps help us or hurt us in the long run. (Positives / Negatives)

My personal opinion is that a nap is a wonderful way to re-energize. When my nap is too long, it can interfere with getting to sleep at night, but for the most part my naps only help me tackle all that needs to be done in a busy day. And, thankfully, I have a job where a nap is not frowned upon.

How about you, Dear Void? To nap or not to nap?

Spring is upon us! It’s late April in Chi-town & it looks more like mid-May. We had an inordinately warm month (proof) and it shows! Our flowering crabs, usually early May bloomers are nearly done. Magnolias? Done two weeks ago. Bulbs? You’ll find some tulips, but the daffodils are spent.

And, sight seen today: a Mallard duck on top of Little Angel’s mother’s car. Yep, just sitting there. Occasionally quacking. Probably protecting a mother duck & her nest, although where that’s located, we aren’t sure.

A hazard of the early spring – allergy season is also in full bloom. The pollen counts haven’t been too bad, due to rain & wind, but today my sinuses are screaming at me. So draining!

Little Angel and I do manage to go on a daily walk. Sometimes for upwards of an hour. She seems to love the stroller. Sometimes we bring our barking companion. Sometimes not. The weather has definitely been glorious.

So, welcome spring. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen you (okay, maybe only 12 months, but we’ve missed you!)

It’s been far too long since I wrote to you, Dear Void. Miss me?

Life’s been busy, busy of late. Aside from nannying (a.k.a. – the best job in the world,) we visited the newlyweds in Phoenix. Had a chance to watch a lot of major & minor league baseball games, help support Sweetie with an FCA event, attend her baptism (in a suburban-Phoenix hot tub.) It was a blessed, holy event. Followed by Sauce pizza and salads. Yum!

Currently I’m battling flu-like symptoms (but not the flu, I don’t think.) Headache, upset stomach, tired, achy. I looked up flu symptoms on line & found that I may have the flu, but probably not as I’m not too terribly sick. I want to err on the side of caution, however, due to Little Angel. She does not need to be getting sick at her young age. She has had a flu shot, so she should be good regardless.

On a side note – don’t you hate when people use “irregardless” – don’t they know this is a made up word which makes absolutely no sense? Slays me. Do you want me to regard it more or less? Does putting “IR” in front of REGARDLESS mean you want me to regard it more? Grr!

Okay, enough from the Grammar Policewoman.

Tomorrow I will be back at it, nannying, and possibly walking to Starbucks (with Little Angel in a great jogging stroller.) It’s supposed to be beautiful out, too. 70′ish. Fun!

Well, it’s official: Little Angel is sitting up on her own. I sat across from her on the blanket (floor) while she sat & played for 20 minutes. Without fussing. This is a great, big breakthrough.

And, for those inhabitants of Dear Void, my Kindle book cover arrived Saturday. So, now I can drop my Kindle in the snow (which we got 4″ of overnight. This is nothing compared to the 10-14″ the forecasters were calling for earlier Sunday. We got off light. Although the snow was heavy. “Heart attack snow.”)

What to read, what to read? The Kindle is revolutionary (see previous entry) but one thing I’m (so far) refusing to do is spend money on e-books.

So, yesterday I downloaded The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. Its cost: $0.00. Fascinating reading. Maybe primarily because he had the foresight to begin writing his autobiography in 1771, before the formation of the Continental Congress, the writing of the Declaration of Independence & the Revolutionary War. Even at that point, he must have known the story of his life would be worth writing (and reading) about.

Which brings me to this point: in 1771, Franklin was 65. As for me, I’m 54. So, in 11 years, will I believe my life is worth writing (and reading) about? If so, is an autobiography in my future?

I do love to write. I’m just not sure the subject matter of my autobiography is interesting enough to write about.

The good news – Amazon is replacing it via next day mail. And more good news – I now know how completely fragile the Kindle is (proof) resulting in my recent purchase of a Kindle book cover. It may also help to power it down at night. And, all my problems seemed to have started when I let the battery run down so low that it didn’t have enough power to boot up.

So, dear void, if you have a Kindle my advice is:

   a. be very, very gentle with it
   b. purchase a Kindle book cover to protect it
   c. heed the “low power” warnings
   d. turn off the Kindle Store option when not purchasing products which will increase the time between charges